Sunday, December 03, 2006

What is Your Choice? Depression or Joy? - By Ab Van Deemter

Looking at your life over the past year does not make you feel very happy.
Actually your life does not look so great lately. At work you have this colleague, who seemed a real colleague at first, but has become pure competition now and he or she bootlicks your boss, who even seems to like that. You see all your hopes for promotion within the company being flushed through the toilet and at the same time it looks as if you are flooded with more and more work.

You hope to finally be able to catch your breath at home but again there you find your spouse, who is as overstressed as you are and you find your extremely demanding kids, who help you to remember that they live in the same house, too. Even when you think you could possibly get rid off the feeling through your favourite sport you notice that this too does not help, because you simply feel too miserable. You start eating more and more, because you think that that’s the only thing that can still keep you happy, or you seek a different state of being by drinking too much alcohol.

You can feel yourself sinking into a miserable state. The state in which all your motivation to go on is dying. You can not remember what “joy of life” means. You slowly get close to a depression, but you keep on saying to yourself that “one day you’ll get over it”.

At the same time you see other people having a great time and you start wondering why it is so much easier for you to fall into depression. Why is it so difficult to stay happy? Why do these periods of joy disappear so quickly and why do these times of depression last so long?

You know why? Because you are thinking about it. You are focussing on it. Did you know that our brain releases chemicals in our blood that support our moods? Well, that’s exactly what’s happening! You attract whatever it is that you focus on. In other words by thinking about the things that make you feel depressed, you make yourself more depressed.

The reversed is just as true. If you would spend as much time thinking about pleasant things as that you spend thinking about depressive things, guess what you would attract in your life? Exactly! You would attract Joy! And if you would focus on the things that bring joy into your life, you would attract more joy and you would be able to maintain that state of joy.

Of course this is not about denying what’s going on in your life. You would need to see the things for what they really are.
Sure this colleague is bootlicking your boss, sure you get more and more work and sure you have kids that ask for a massive amount of attention.
But does all this need to become the focal point of every thought that passes?

You could find your colleague’s attitude amusing and continue to keep up with your own good work and become more pro active about it. The fact that all this work comes to you could also be seen as a compliment somehow.
Isn’t this a matter of either setting better boundaries or to become more efficient with your work or time?

And for as far as your children are concerned; have you tried to approach this with some humour? Or you could sift out some books about parenting or find parents with the same type of problems and speak to them. Experiment with a number of different approaches. It also helps to think back at your own youth once in a while. After all you grew up okay, did not you?

Getting into a state of joy is easy and staying there is easy. And believe me, this is not easier said than done. It is scientifically proven.

It is the will to choose how we look at the situations in our lives and it is a matter of choice whether we focus on joy or on the negative things that bring us down.

Practice to think positive thoughts! Because, let’s be fair. What is more fun: practicing depression or practicing joy?

I know what I choose.

I hope you have enjoyed the self motivation tips in this article and that they provided you with some new insights.When you use these as self motivation exercise you will obtain the necessary self motivation skills and you will become a much more joyful person.

Ab van Deemter (http://www.passiontogrow.com) is a Personal Growth specialist and a spiritual person, who believes in sharing his knowledge of personal perseverance. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods for many, many years and embarked on a life of success. With successful tools for personal freedom he has made it past a life full of obstacles and now mentors and teaches business owners, their staff, his own employees, as well as a large group of private individuals.

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