What is Real Toughness

"Real toughness is experiencing discomfort or distress,"leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action. It’s navigating discomfort to make the best decision you can."

-- Steve Magness

This quote by Steve Magness is talking about what it means to be truly tough. He believes that true toughness isn't just about being physically strong or able to handle difficult situations, but it's about being able to experience discomfort or distress and still be able to take thoughtful action.

To put it simply, Steve is saying that real toughness involves being able to navigate uncomfortable situations and making the best decisions possible despite the discomfort. This means leaning into the discomfort, paying attention to what's going on around you, and creating space for yourself to take thoughtful action.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you're taking a really difficult exam, and you start to feel anxious and uncomfortable. A tough person in this situation wouldn't just give up or panic, but they would lean into the discomfort, pay attention to what's going on, and create space to make the best decision possible. They might take a deep breath, refocus their attention, and calmly work through the exam to the best of their ability.

Another example could be in a situation where you need to have a difficult conversation with someone. It's uncomfortable and distressing, but a tough person would lean into the discomfort, pay attention to what's being said, and create space for themselves to respond thoughtfully. They might take a moment to gather their thoughts, speak calmly and respectfully, and work towards a solution.

In summary, Steve Magness is saying that true toughness involves being able to navigate discomfort and distress in order to make the best decisions possible. It's not just about being physically strong, but about being mentally tough and resilient in difficult situations.

Train For Hopefulness

"We need to train hopefulness. To clear the path to continue. It doesn’t take big heroic efforts to train hope. Small signals that you are in control, that you can have an impact, will be enough to turn our prefrontal cortex back on."

-- Steve Magness

To put it simply, Steve is saying that we need to train ourselves to be hopeful. This means that we need to find small ways to take control of our lives and have a positive impact, even in difficult situations. When we do this, it helps to activate the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brain that is responsible for decision-making, problem-solving, and critical thinking.

Let me give you an example. Imagine you're going through a tough time, like losing your job or experiencing a personal setback. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless in situations like these, but Steve is saying that we can train ourselves to be more hopeful by taking small actions that make us feel more in control. For example, you could start by making a list of things that you can do to improve your situation, like updating your resume, reaching out to contacts for job leads, or working on a new skill. By taking these small actions, you're sending signals to your brain that you are in control and can have an impact, which can help to activate the prefrontal cortex and keep you feeling more hopeful.

In summary, Steve Magness is saying that we need to actively train ourselves to be hopeful during difficult times. We can do this by taking small actions that help us feel more in control and capable of having a positive impact. By doing this, we can activate the prefrontal cortex and stay motivated to keep moving forward.

Explore Instead of Avoid

"When we explore instead of avoid, we are able to integrate the experience into our story. We’re able to make meaning out of struggle, out of suffering. Meaning is the glue that holds our mind together, allowing us to both respond and recover."

-- Steve Magness