What Goes On Inside

I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can
always control what goes on inside.

--Wayne Dyer


Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is
the chance to work hard at work worth doing.

--Theodore Roosevelt


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

--Henry David Thoreau

My Self Improvement Plan – Self Improvement Made Easy - By Ben Ehinger

Are you ready to change for the better, whether it be career, personal, emotional, physical, or spiritual? Changing is a process that challenges us and shows us who we truly are. There is no better way to learn who you are and become a better version of yourself than to come up with a self improvement plan. Here are a few tips to help you put together a self improvement plan.

Self improvement tip #1 – Enter the classroom of silence once a day

The classroom of silence has become a desperate need on our busy, noisy world. Stepping into the classroom of silence is incredible for the soul and the mind. Take 10 minutes out of each day and step into the classroom of silence. That is all 10 minutes and you will be on your way to self improvement.

Find a comfortable place that is completely silent. This needs to be somewhere that you won’t be distracted by anything. I prefer to go to an empty church, but it is up to you where you go. Close your eyes and just let your mind wander for 10 minutes. You will find the answers to your deepest desires and you will find the peace that you crave.

Self improvement tip #2 – Read good books and watch inspiring movies

Have you ever noticed how certain books and movies energize you and make you want to get up and go achieve your goals? Fill your life with these types of books and movies and you will constantly be taking steps towards a better you. Find 10 minutes a day to read a good book. This will change your life forever.

Self improvement tip #3 – Set goals that you can achieve and achieve them

It is important for your growth and confidence that you set goals that you can achieve and then you achieve them. Every time we set a goal and we don’t achieve it we lessen our confidence, and every time we achieve a goal, whether large or small, it is like a small victory and we boost our confidence.

Set yourself up for success with achievable goals, find 10 minutes a day to step into the classroom of silence, and find 10 minutes a day to read a good book, and you will be on your way to self improvement. There are many strategies to building a self improvement plan, but you need to make sure you set yourself up for success and stick to your plan.

Learn the discipline and the strategies that you need to become a better version of yourself. Get all the secrets to self improvement here: Self improvement Secrets

Learn more about Matthew Kelly, the author that inspires most of my writing here: The Matthew Kelly Foundation

Transforming Experience

To be known and loved is a transforming experience.
It calls us from skepticism to belief, from caution
to action, from despair to hope.

--Larry J. Peacock


Too often in our lives accomplishment and doing
overshadow growth and becoming.

--Linda Dillow


All the best transformations are accompanied
by pain. That's the point of them.

--Fay Weldon

Minding Your Manners - By Carolina Fernandez

This weekend found me in New York City and in Philadelphia, working on my book and catching up with my oldest friend and on some window shopping, too. A good walk down Madison Avenue in the fall is always a good thing. As is a good book store browse, a slow coffee-brownie indulgence in a side street café, and a peek inside an antique shop or two. We did all of the above in spades.

There are few things that bring me more pleasure while in the city than shopping. Not real shopping, as in buying, but leisure shopping, as in looking and touching. I need not, so I am rarely tempted. And certainly not at Madison Avenue prices. But the enormity of selection, the newness of collections and the entertainment value of people-watching is just too wonderful to ignore.

And so it was with great fun that we ventured into and around the flagship Ralph Lauren store on 72nd and Madison (a must-stop on anyone’s agenda. No kidding.) It evokes awe. Masterfully designed, with gilded-framed oil paintings lining every wall, densely-piled carpeting lining every step and attentive sales assistants lining every aisle, one certainly glides through the store as if on cushioned ballet shoes. It would be difficult to escape without feeling better for having had the experience. For having tasted “Ralph’s” genius.

And so, as I walked down the heavily-cushioned staircase on my way out, I couldn’t help but feel as if I had experienced civility at its New York best. That attention to detail and to good manners was contained, if nowhere else, within four large walls on one city block in my favorite city on the face of the earth.

My visit wasn’t long and it became time for me to retrieve my car from a soon-to-expire meter on Lexington Avenue. I walked quickly toward the exit and as I leaned against the heavy glass door onto the sidewalk, a gentleman (and he was, indeed, a gentle man), called out to the two ladies who were entering at the exact time that I was exiting.

“M’am. M’am,” he called, shoving what looked like a ten-dollar bill towards them, as they looked back over their shoulders, puzzled. “One of you dropped this on the sidewalk.”

I could hardly believe it. I said, rather softly to him, “Now there’s a real gentleman,” but he either didn’t hear me, or he ignored me, as if to suggest that chasing ladies who had dropped money out of their wallets was a perfectly normal everyday thing to do and that there could simply be no other alternative.

Picking up pennies on city sidewalks is a silly thing to do. But giving them away to the first child to cross one’s path makes it a worthwhile adventure. But picking up a ten-dollar bill and chasing down a complete stranger to give it back is hardly a common occurrence in a big city. And it caught me completely off guard. It gave me renewed faith in mankind. In young men in general. I smiled thinking of the mother who, some time, somewhere, had—over the years—taught her son well.

Holding doors open for people, shaking hands firmly, smiling while talking and expressing genuine thankfulness, are all wonderful gestures of civilized people everywhere. I vow to work on that this week with my own brood. To make sure that my boys know how to treat young ladies and that my daughter knows how to treat young men. And to remind them of the rules. That they say thank you for treats and for gifts. Always. And remember to write notes by hand. That they speak clearly to adults. And look them in their eyes when they talk. That they always answer the phone or the front door cheerfully.

Little things count. And minding one’s manners—one of those littlest things of all—is one of those little things that counts the most. I trust you feel this way, too!

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. and worked at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch before coming home to work as a wife and mother of four. She totally re-invented herself along the way. Strong convictions were born about the role of the arts in child development; ten years of homeschooling and raising four kids provide fertile soil for devising creative parenting strategies. These are played out in ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance. It is widely available online, in bookstores or through 888-476-2493. She writes extensively for a variety of parenting resources and teaches other moms via seminars, workshops, keynotes and monthly meetings of the ROCKET MOM SOCIETY, a sisterhood group she launched to “encourage, equip and empower moms for excellence.” Please visit http://www.rocketmom.com

Dream - Goal

A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream
with a plan and a deadline.

--Harvey Mackay


You can never plan the future by the past.

--Edmund Burke


Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans:
it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.

--Horace

Dive In - By Jim Gustafson

I learned to swim at the YMCA. I have crystal clear recall of my first
"tadpole" class. I remember coming out of the pool with my nose running,
skin itching, and eyes blazing red from the environmental wasteland that was
the YMCA pool. That pool contained 80% chemicals, 15% water and 5% other
which I choose not to think about.

The house in which I live came with a swimming pool in the backyard. I am
not proud to have a pool. I find it to be a rather large inconvenience. It
gives pleasure to visiting dignitaries (a.k.a. grandchildren), relatives and
friends. Beyond that, its waters rarely experience submerged flesh. There
is a natural law that requires a swimming pool to be ready for swimming at
ever moment. Accordingly, the chemistry must be balanced to keep the water
pure. The pump must be going to circulate the water and avoid stagnation.
The filter must be cleaned to properly filter, I guess.

Based on the YMCA "tadpole traumas" of my youth, I have always had a
professional pool care company maintain my pool. Among my greatest fears is
awakening to find my pool has turned to slimy inky goo. So when I recently
discovered greenish brown staining on the sides and bottom of my pool, I
phoned the pool company. They made an extra call, gave an extra treatment,
and sent an extra bill. The stains continued to grow as did my slimy goo
fears. I continued to express my concern to the pool company, but there was
no apparent action. The stains continued to increase, my nightmare was
reoccurring.

It was time to take matters into my own hands. I went to a do-it-yourself
pool store. They test water, sell chemicals, and give advice. I described
my situation to the pool guy. He calmly walked over to the shelf, handed me
a bottle of stuff. "Throw this stuff in your pool. Run the pump for 24
hours. That will be $17.87." I did as he said. 24 hours later I waited
for sunlight. When it came, my pool was crystal clear. No words could
express my joy.

I have now taken over the care and maintenance of my swimming pool. It is
clean and clear. Almost as important is the lesson I relearned. We are
better off when we dive straight into our fears, than when we work to avoid
them. The price of avoidance is much higher than the cost of confrontation.
Lessons as clean and clear as my pool.

Dive In!

http://www.jimgustafson.com

Conflict Cannot Survive

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.

--Wayne Dyer


Nothing will work unless you do.

--Maya Angelou


Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.

--Dean Acheson

Are You Happy To Lead A Mediocre Life Just Because Others Do - By Pat Campbell

When we read historical novels, we may laugh at the pointless lives that the gentry of that period led. The well to do who lived centuries ago spent their lives in idle pursuits totally oblivious (in most cases) to the wretchedness of the poor who spent all their waking hours working in return for meagre sustenance. And they were so overly concerned with living their lives according to regimented protocol; it just wasn’t "the done thing" to do things differently than the way the neighbours did things. The lives of the poor were just as pointless because they failed to realise that they could improve themselves if only they tried. The few who did succeed in breaking free of poverty were generally ostracised by their families because they dared to do things differently.

But are we any different today? Have we really learnt anything at all? The activities of the 21st century are vastly different from those of previous times but many are just as pointless. And today, in this current advanced era, people on the whole are still far too concerned with what their family, friends and neighbours think. Very few people are willing to change.

Is your life perfect? If it is then there is no need to change anything. But I have never yet met anyone with a perfect life, have you? Some people have a career they love but their family life suffers. Some people have very good relationships with their families and friends but their health and fitness are not very good. And some people have a totally stuffed up life in nearly all areas. Even if we have some things right, there are always areas in which we can improve ourselves, we shouldn't just get to a certain age and stop. Life is all about learning; it isn’t something reserved for the young.

People will say, "Oh I couldn’t do it that way because everyone I know does it this way!" But are all those people you know getting perfect results! Very unlikely! So why keep doing things a certain way, with mediocre results, just because everyone else does it that way? Isn't it time to make a change and do things your own way? Maybe, just maybe, you will see vast improvements in your life. And if you stuff up or don't get it quite right the first time, don't give up. Just keep on trying things out until you find what really works for you. Don’t be bothered by those who try to deter you. Your true friends will support you and the opinion of the rest of them doesn't matter!

One thing to remember - if others object to what you are doing or becoming, it is because it is a reflection of something in their own lives that they need to deal with. When they see you becoming successful in some area of your life, they feel unsettled because they know that they should be trying to make improvements in their lives too and you are reminding them of that deficiency in themselves! So it is never about you, it is about them. The sad fact is that most people are quite prepared to plod along living a mediocre existence. They really cannot see that there are better possibilities for them if only they make an effort. But you can see the possibilities, so go and live your dreams!

My aim is to help as many people as possible realise their full potential from both a human and spiritual perspective. My website provides resources for personal and spiritual development including articles, newsletter and help available by email.

Pat Campbell

"TheArcher"

http://www.eyeofthearcher.com.au

Act The Way You'd Like To Be

Cary Grant once said "I've acted like I was Cary Grant for so long that I actually became Cary Grant"


"Act the way you'd like to be and soon you'll be the way you
act." --George W. Crane


"Act as if you were already the person you want most to be."
--Brian Tracy


"The truth is you can acquire any quality you want just by acting like you already have that quality." --Joseph Murphy


"Act as though and it shall be" --Bible

What is Your Choice? Depression or Joy? - By Ab Van Deemter

Looking at your life over the past year does not make you feel very happy.
Actually your life does not look so great lately. At work you have this colleague, who seemed a real colleague at first, but has become pure competition now and he or she bootlicks your boss, who even seems to like that. You see all your hopes for promotion within the company being flushed through the toilet and at the same time it looks as if you are flooded with more and more work.

You hope to finally be able to catch your breath at home but again there you find your spouse, who is as overstressed as you are and you find your extremely demanding kids, who help you to remember that they live in the same house, too. Even when you think you could possibly get rid off the feeling through your favourite sport you notice that this too does not help, because you simply feel too miserable. You start eating more and more, because you think that that’s the only thing that can still keep you happy, or you seek a different state of being by drinking too much alcohol.

You can feel yourself sinking into a miserable state. The state in which all your motivation to go on is dying. You can not remember what “joy of life” means. You slowly get close to a depression, but you keep on saying to yourself that “one day you’ll get over it”.

At the same time you see other people having a great time and you start wondering why it is so much easier for you to fall into depression. Why is it so difficult to stay happy? Why do these periods of joy disappear so quickly and why do these times of depression last so long?

You know why? Because you are thinking about it. You are focussing on it. Did you know that our brain releases chemicals in our blood that support our moods? Well, that’s exactly what’s happening! You attract whatever it is that you focus on. In other words by thinking about the things that make you feel depressed, you make yourself more depressed.

The reversed is just as true. If you would spend as much time thinking about pleasant things as that you spend thinking about depressive things, guess what you would attract in your life? Exactly! You would attract Joy! And if you would focus on the things that bring joy into your life, you would attract more joy and you would be able to maintain that state of joy.

Of course this is not about denying what’s going on in your life. You would need to see the things for what they really are.
Sure this colleague is bootlicking your boss, sure you get more and more work and sure you have kids that ask for a massive amount of attention.
But does all this need to become the focal point of every thought that passes?

You could find your colleague’s attitude amusing and continue to keep up with your own good work and become more pro active about it. The fact that all this work comes to you could also be seen as a compliment somehow.
Isn’t this a matter of either setting better boundaries or to become more efficient with your work or time?

And for as far as your children are concerned; have you tried to approach this with some humour? Or you could sift out some books about parenting or find parents with the same type of problems and speak to them. Experiment with a number of different approaches. It also helps to think back at your own youth once in a while. After all you grew up okay, did not you?

Getting into a state of joy is easy and staying there is easy. And believe me, this is not easier said than done. It is scientifically proven.

It is the will to choose how we look at the situations in our lives and it is a matter of choice whether we focus on joy or on the negative things that bring us down.

Practice to think positive thoughts! Because, let’s be fair. What is more fun: practicing depression or practicing joy?

I know what I choose.

I hope you have enjoyed the self motivation tips in this article and that they provided you with some new insights.When you use these as self motivation exercise you will obtain the necessary self motivation skills and you will become a much more joyful person.

Ab van Deemter (http://www.passiontogrow.com) is a Personal Growth specialist and a spiritual person, who believes in sharing his knowledge of personal perseverance. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods for many, many years and embarked on a life of success. With successful tools for personal freedom he has made it past a life full of obstacles and now mentors and teaches business owners, their staff, his own employees, as well as a large group of private individuals.